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The Forgiveness Project: an ongoing project in which I forgive people who have hurt me in some way Forgiveness #1: "Mexico, Age 4" I started with something fairly easy, although it was devastating when it happened. It was the first time I realized I was being lied to. #1 was a small printed leaflet handed out at The Toronto Small Press Book Fair in 2004.   Forgiveness #2: Body This was performed at the 2004 launch for the litzine, dig. I handed out cookies and made the following statement: "I forgive everyone who has said something mean about my body, from 'emaciated' to 'chubby.'" Then we all ate cookies.   Forgiveness #3: Professional Bitterness (To all the people who have ripped me off or undervalued my work) This was performed as part of the Mayworks installation Poetry Is Not a Luxury in May 2005. After I read the following text, I promised not to hold a grudge anymore. This forgiveness stuff is harder than I thought ;-) Dear Editor: It has been seven months since you published my article _________ on your website. I understand you're not-for-profit, but if you can't afford to pay what you promise, perhaps you shouldn't be publishing. Isn't it funny that my article was about human rights? I'd love to buy groceries this week. Sincerely, Sandra Alland Dear Filmmaker: I acted in your film as a favour, so I agreed to a $50 fee. I took time off work to help you, which your $50 doesn't even cover. It's been eight months since you filmed and I have yet to see the cheque. It's embarrassing to beg for $50. Not to mention you haven't repainted the space you rented from my employer, as promised. Sincerely, Sandra Alland Dear Editor: $25?!??! When I've written for ____ in the past, I've been paid between $250 and $300 for twice the number of words (and some of those words were just for sleazy sex columns). I assumed I would receive at least $125. Is this your new standard fee? Your payment works out to $2.50 per hour. No disrespect meant, but ouch. Sincerely, Sandra Alland Dear Event Organizer: Wow. You gave me a comp, which I thought was great. Until you asked me not to tell the other performers. How do you sleep at night after charging $10 at the door (of a place that doesn't charge rent) and not paying the readers? And don't think I didn't notice you never handed me the promised drink ticket. Poets are like elephants, you know. Sincerely, Sandra Alland Dear Editor: I just found out from my friend who works there that you sold my photos (that you have yet to pay me the lousy $100 for) to a magazine in Montreal for a bunch of cash. Did you hope I just wouldn't find out? You suck. Sincerely, Sandra Alland Dear "Communications" Manager: Did you really think it would be okay to publish (and reformat) my poem in a crappy corporate magazine without asking me? Did you really think I wouldn't mind if you slapped a bank logo underneath it? Sincerely, Sandra Alland Dear Editor: It's so flattering that you want to nominate my work for a __________award. But you can't be serious about me paying for my own nomination? It costs more for the nomination than I was paid for the poems you published. Sincerely, Sandra Alland Dear Editor: When you wrote the words "lesbian agenda" in your edit of my article, had you just been kidnapped by Ralph Klein? I'm praying you say yes. Sincerely, Sandra Alland